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This post may actually coincide with a previous post title “Top 10 Dirtiest Bars” but I digress. They may be called “dirty” only because of their nakedness but that theory hardly ever holds any water…except of course if that nakedness happens to be that of a homeless lady. (btw, there is only 1 place on this list where you may actually find a homeless lady stripping). The following list is not in any particular order.

1. VIP Club - Flatiron - Why? Because the rooms in the back are really fun, especially when no one is looking. Decent happy hour specials and the old (I used to be a stripper 15 years ago) lady gives great massages.

2. Pussy Cat Lounge - Financial District - Why? Because this place was the only strip joint to make in on our “Top 10 Dirtiest Bars in New York” list. The dances are cheap and you have to throw your money at the girls who do their work behind the bar. No leaning, beer pong style.

3. Flash Dancers - Midtown - Why? Because they have a lunch buffet…nice! Walk downstairs to the dungeonous haven and shower yourself with floral smelling crevices. How poetic.

4. Hustler Club - Hell’s Kitchen - Why? Named after Larry Flynt’s magazine empire, this place leaves a little more to be desired but the girls are smokin’. Nice big main room, professional staff and stiff drinks.

5. Penthouse Club - Hell’s Kitchen - Why? This place is the Marquee of strip joints. You may wait in line as if you’re heading into the hottest club in the city but realize you’ve only waited in line to spend about $300-$400 for just a couple of drinks, decent lap dances and a chair massage. Well worth it if you’ve got the loot to burn. Grab one of the tables up by the stage.

6. Rick’s Cabaret - Midtown - Why? Because their food is “amazing”, it is convenient to Penn Station, and the girls are generally pretty damn hot - oh - and pretty naked.

7. Ten’s - Flatiron - Why? Getting thier too early is great because you’ve got 5-10 girls just staring at the front door when you walk in like they’ve been waiting for hours for someone to walk in. Nice dark room and smokin hot eastern European girls.

8. Sin City - South Bronx - Why? Because they have a shuttle bus from Yankee Stadium just in case you didn’t spend enough money at the game. Plus, if you like your girlfriend for the hour to be Puerto Rican/Dominican then this is the place to be.

9. Lace - Times Square - Why? For those of you from the Jersey Shore, if you’re like me (drunk most of the time, wears only Umbro’s and a T-shirt to strip clubs) then you know Go Go Rama in Laurence Harbor, NJ. The same owners of “GGR” own Lace. Nuff said.

10. Cheetah’s - Times Square - Why? Hot chicks….plain ole’ hot chicks.

Honorable Mention: The NYC Subway System…who knew?

Missing any of your favorites…you sick bastard?