EVERYBODY is Irish on St. Pattys Day

For those of you who think the world ends at the Hudson River… stop reading. While you are at it, go F yourself. We don’t like you either. For the rest of you who have no fear of what the 6th Borough has to offer, read on. I have a no nonsense survival guide to one of the best parties in the country. St. Patrick’s Day in Hoboken, Saturday March 7th.

The Setup…

First things first. St. Patrick’s Day in Hoboken is celebrated on the FIRST Saturday of March. This year the party is on the 7th. Don’t come wandering over on the 17th expecting any shenanigans. There’s none to be had. On the 7th, however… shenanigans abound. The town paints a bright green stripe down Washington Street marking the parade route. The parade starts promptly at 1 pm… but you, my friend… you need to start much earlier.

It’s a Long Day… Start it Off Right!

Eat up. You’ll be boozing for at LEAST 12 hours. The bars open early but not super early and they’ll be so packed that sitting at a table to eat a breakfast burrito ain’t an option. Your best bet is to hit Malibu Diner on 14th and Park Ave. The space is big and the table turnover is fast. It’s at the “top” of town which means as you work your way down, you’ll end up closer and closer to the PATH trains and Ferries. Oh, and did I mention they have a liquor license? Yahtzee! Suck down a couple screwdrivers with your over-cooked eggs and french fries. Ok, ok, it isn’t Irish, but neither are 90% of the people in town.

Have a Plan of Attack

Every bar will have a line and as the day progresses, wait times will exceed 30-40 minutes (you could even count on an hour or longer). Long story short, your buzz will wear off faster than a Leprechaun can say “Shiver me timbers”. A flask comes in mighty handy at times like these. Sure, you’ll look like a raging alcoholic, but aren’t you already? The first step is admitting you have a problem… but I digress. The point is to get your ass into a bar as soon as can and stay put. There are better bars than others but all-in-all, it doesn’t really matter. The girls will be drunk, the bar will be packed and you’ll be dry heaving by the time the parade starts.

The Parade

It’s a parade… yawn. Firecracker, firecracker, sis-boom-bah… where’s my beer.

Here Piggy, Piggy

After the parade, all Hell breaks loose. Overflowing bars and party crashing turn to revelry on the streets. You’ll see some jackass walking around with a beer in his hand and immediately think to yourself “Oh, it must be ok to walk around with a beer in my hand”. And you’d be wrong. Really, really ridiculously wrong. Hoboken employs 90% of its police force for St. Patrick’s day AND they bump up all public infractions to $1000. The police department treats St. Patrick’s Day like a fundraiser… sorta like girl scouts selling cookies only instead of girl scouts, they’re big, bad, mean-ass, Jersey fat heads and instead of cookies it’s a trip to the drunk tank. Keep your wits about you… there’s still plenty-o-mc’partying to be had.

Follow the Magic Music Men

Now, here’s the fun part. After the parade the bag pipers wander the streets of Hoboken seeking free booze. The custom goes a little like this… bag pipers are welcome to your party and when they come, they play their pipes. After they play, you need to give them beer. Needless to say, these bag pipers are like bloodhounds for finding great parties in cool, out-of-the-way backyards and some of the taller high rises. Follow any bag piper into a party and you’re assured a good time. 

It’s Gonna Happen Anyway

You will see a fight.

You will get in a fight.

You will see a girl pee herself.

You will step in puke.

You will buy shamrock beads.

You will drink a Guinness.

You will fall down.

You will have one of the best times you’ve ever had, partying your balls off. ‘Nough said.

When you’re out in Hoboken this Saturday make sure to “broadcast” your party location using MEETNOWLIVE MOBILE so everyone will know where the best party is! Waiting in line for an hour? “Broadcast” it! No line? “Broadcast” it! Drunk out of your mind? Well you get the picture.

By the way…forecast for the parade this Saturday…54 degrees and Sunny.